Ask Rei Anything


Here are some of my oldest e-mails.


January 23, 2004- Sigh... I love video games! And getting to draw meaning from things is fun, too!

Favoritism in a good way!
Dear Rei,
I was wondering what video games, if any, you like to play? (I personally like the Final Fantasy and Mega Man games) Also, what are your favorites in movies, foods, and other things along those lines. It would be nice to know yours too Mr. Y.T.F. (Of course, I already know your taste in anime. Good man.)
May your angelic beauty continue to astound and awe many young adolesent boys, your loyal fan
Aww, you're making me blush! Flattery aside, let me think... I like RPGs, mostly because I have to think a bit before I do things. I'm just like my stereotype that way, aren't I? I don't mind an action game or two now and then, however- you should see me on 'Time Crisis' when I've had a bad day!

Movies... I don't watch many, but my taste runs toward humor- not the stupid kind, even though simple dumb fun now and then IS quite nice, but I do enjoy a laugh now and then. I also like spooky movies. Food, I've always been partial to taiyaki. I've eaten ramen noodles a lot in my lifetime as well, but I suspect that's more based toward my paycheck than anything else- I do like them though!

Other things; let me think... I like swimming, and I enjoy walking every now and then. Anime, as odd as it may sound given I've been in one, I don't watch much. I liked 'Betterman', but there's not a whole lot else I've watched (and no, I don't mind fanservice, it's natural for boys to like it!).

Mr. Y.T.F. told me to give you the following information, as per your secondary request. He likes comedies and action movies (he likes hybrids of those, too). He likes hamburgers and pizza (he's a picky eater; I've seen him eat). He loves RPGs, action games (as long as they last a while), and games that give you a lot of freedom (not online games, though, he's never really cared for them). He's sort of lazy and doesn't like to exercise- he admits it- but he likes walking around, when it's decent either inside or outside, and I think that if he were to take a class, he'd be an excellent fighter.

That's about all I can think of, but if you'd like to know more about us, feel free to ask!

Dress-activity disagreement- it happens sometimes!
In Final Fantasy VII, Tifa has large breasts, small waist, etc. and doesn't cover herself that much. Yet Aeris seems is all covered up and does not really look, um, Tifa-like. Then why does Aeris flirt with Cloud more than Tifa does? Tifa's clothes seem flirtatious yet she is not. And the guys in the FFVII world don't really take notice of Tifa that much. What's up with that. I assume a female with a G-Cup can answer this.
Ah, Final Fantasy 7, I liked that game. Why would Aeris flirt more with Cloud, hm? Well, I have a few possible reasons. Have you seen Iketeru Futari? Mr. Y.T.F. says something about there being a very similar (albeit more violent) relationship between Saji (goofier Cloud), Yuki (Tifa), and Akira (more violent Aeris). Perhaps, like there, Cloud wasn't entirely comfortable with changing the relationship with his friend Tifa to a romantic one, and vice versa as well, I'm sure- which is understandable- it's quite awkward thinking of a person you've known for a very long time in such a way (to be a bit more blunt, could you imagine what it's like having sex with a girl you've known since you were playing in a sandbox together when you were three?) Aeris was more of a mysterious woman, which many find attractive; you don't know what to expect out of one. Also, many people, despite looking one way, may act quite another. It's odd sometimes but it's a good reminder not to take people at face value; you never know whether the person inside the clothes is entirely different! As for people not taking much notice to Tifa, I wouldn't exactly say that much more emphasis was placed on Aeris in that regard- but then, quite a bit of the cast knew Tifa a lot more than Aeris, as well!

I hope that gives some perspective; I could be wrong about all of this but it's my opinion, and I hope it's helpful to you!

A short and to-the-point request... Perhaps he's asking the wrong person, though?
Can I have some pictures of busty anime girls? Where can I find pictures of busty anime girls?
Hmm... I'm not one to search for that sort of thing, but I took a look around to see what I could come up with. First, I'd suggest taking a look through 4chan, of which Mr. Y.T.F. links to. Another good option is to try searching through the official sites of certain big-breast anime; friends or other websites could give you clues to that. Third, if you don't mind CG sites, type the following words into Google. 'netlaputa' and 'baku'. I have no need to tell you what to click; trust me. I hope this helps!


January 1, 2004- So much talk about breasts... Is it because I'm a G-cup?

Nothing like the mention of one of the coolest groups of humans that I know of, and nothing like the feeling you're really REALLY wanted.
Dear Rei, I have two questions. First, I wanted to know if you attest the moral decay of our modern society and the ills of our new technology driven age to the lack of ninjas in the world. Secondly, I'd like to know if you're available for some... private tutoring, if you catch my drift.
Hmm... You know, I'm not sure I could directly link the two situations together. However, indirectly, I could believe this; if Mr. Y.T.F.'s current games of Final Fantasy Tactics and Disgaea mean anything, I'm quite sure that ninjas would be perfectly capable of destroying some of the evils out there. I don't think they'd be attacking in broad daylight, which would make it so much the better.

'Private tutoring'? I'm hip. Come on down sometime!

Touchy touchy, grabby grabby!
Rei, I was wondering something. Why is it ok for girls to grope each other, but when a guy gropes a girl, he gets the tar and feathers beaten out of him? I've seen girls at school do it before, and it was tempting me to go against my morals. Please help me understand this!
Well, Mr. Y.T.F. considers this another form of torture women love to inflict on men, but I have my own spin that I'd like to put on this. See, I don't think they're doing it to torture you; actually I think they're trying to figure out just what it is they like as far as, you know... 'that' is concerned, and breast groping is a lot less bad for social stigmas than the alternatives. Think of it this way, in terms of what I first said. Say that an average, heterosexual girl that you don't know was to ask you to grab her breasts, just to see what it felt like. She knows, you know, and I know what the first thing that'll go through your mind will be, that is to say, 'Yay! I'm about to get laid!' You won't. You'll just get a quick feel and never see her again, and you'd probably get upset if you didn't see her again (because I'm quite sure you'd want to do it again). Besides, I'm pretty sure that the girls who are doing this are friends anyway, so they think nothing of it. Don't feel too bad, though- maybe it'll come back to help you if you get a girlfriend who's had this done and she says 'okay, please grab my breasts!'

As far as men groping women goes, it's as simple as that- they might not like it, or if you haven't gotten to know each other well, they might not like YOU (and don't expect that to change if you grope a girl out of the blue like that). I know it wouldn't exactly be the same thing if a cute girl you liked were to suddenly grab your, um... 'private area', but the sad truth of it is, women DO seem to control when they're ready to do/have it done...

As far as going against your morals goes, think for a second- maybe you will get a girl who likes that sort of thing right off, but for every time it works there will be many, many times where it doesn't and believe me, people DO take notice of this, and not in a good way.

I'm sorry if this doesn't make you feel any better but it's the way of the world; there's not much you can do to change it. Just try to find a girl and see if you can gradually talk her into it. I hope you can!

Questions and a compliment, most about me!
Rei,
Greetings! i'm a first time writer. i would like to ask which anime did u come from? and also i would like to know who are the charaters and from which anime are the girls in the 'wacky dream' section are. thanks for the time! and by the way... you're cute!
You really think I'm cute? Thank you! Okay, as embarrassed as I am to admit this, I started running low on money during my first few years of teaching and I talked my friends into producing and selling a hentai title called 'G-Cup Teacher Rei' (as was called after I'd heard I'd got the lead out of the options available). It's not very good, and the cel crew we found was as lazy as humans could be (they didn't bother to animate more than my mouth half the time!), but you could find it on a file-sharing program if you were to try really hard. Some of the people I've gotten to know from it are below, and they told me I could put their pictures in under the condition that I didn't tell anyone their real names.


This is 'Misuzu', who works at the school as a school nurse during the show.


This is 'Yumiko', one of the students at my school. I'll say that some of my scenes with her were not exactly my finest hour in life.


The boy to my right is 'Takashi', Yumiko's friend, and I'm pretty sure he had fun during his scenes. He's a bit nerdy but he's nice and he seemed to know what was what.


This is 'Mahoro', a transfer student between episodes 1 and 2 who decided she wanted in too, providing she got a scene with Takashi. She got her wish.

As for the wacky dream section, the rollerblade girl is named 'Takami' and she's from 'Geobreeders'. The girls in the blanket are named (from left to right) Manami, Emiko, Hiroko and Kaori and they're from the hentai game series 'Innai Kansen' (or 'Nurse Call').

There you go! I hope I helped you!

A request not really aimed to me, but one that I'll relay an answer to anyway.
You know miss rei you really need to tell what do you call him? Mr.YTF that he needs to update more i love this site and with so few updates my life lacks meaning. after all one can only mindlessly click on the same thing some many times. may your breasts reach the next level of impossibility! (love you the way you are though that last thing just sounded right for some weird reason)
I know... I kind of wish Mr. Y.T.F. would update more often myself; I get a laugh out of his site too. I know he's got a bit of a dirty mind but he's cool all the same. The thing is, there's not much I can do to force him to update more often. It would be nice if he did (he says so himself), but things happen, especially given that he vastly prefers doing everything on this site by himself. Sometimes he has trouble thinking of a good subject to work on, other times he can't find pictures with which to update galleries with. Plus, he does still go to school, and he has other hobbies that he likes to play with. I know that he does his best to make people laugh or get people interested in fanservice anime and doesn't like to settle for less, which I think he's afraid will happen if he just updates updates updates- there's only so much comedic material in some people and he doesn't want to see it all get used up. I can see why you or ANYBODY would think he just gets plain lazy sometimes; I know that the last two updates were both five months apart, and there's really no excuse (he says he's sorry for that). Still, with some of the more recurring features Mr. Y.T.F.'s added in recent times, I think he has a better resource pool for material, so hopefully he'll update more in the future. If he doesn't, I'll kick him in the groin for you!

As for my breasts... (I really wish you could see how deeply I blushed when I first read that!) ...I'll see what can happen, but I'm an adult now- I'm not sure they CAN grow any bigger! I'm glad you like me the way I am, though, that takes a bit of the heat off.

Lots of questions, lots of answers!
I've been pondering a number of questions over the years and I was wondering if you could, perhaps, add some insight into these dilemmas.
Question 1: Why do people love boring life-simulations games like The Sims, but ignore similar but much more fun titles like Dungeon Keeper 2?
Question 2: How come game companies will spend a fortune to buy the rights to produce a game for a movie, but then make the game as f**king boring as possible. (only unconfirmed exception is the latest Spiderman game, but I haven't played it yet).
Question 3: Is it possible for people, as a mass, to have a negative I.Q.? Because otherwise, I don't understand how Question 1 would even be possible.
Question 4: Should being Evil be as much fun as it is?
Question 5: And why do game developers who include the possibility to BE evil usually make it so annoying, troublesome and time consuming to get anything else done once you've achieved maximum Evil-tude?
Question 6: Why is that I love beating the crap out of monsters, but I also love series like Mahoromatic, which is 70% cute android girls being cute?
Question 7: Why is that people attribute darkness to evil when it's light that does the most damage? I mean, a fire emits light and burns. I don't see shadows destroying forests or sending people to the ground in a clumsy attempt to stop-drop-and-roll.
If you could answer even half of these, I would much appreciate it. Actually, you don't have to try and answer that last one. I just felt I should add it to give a bit of philosophical-itude to my other questions.
Oh my... That's a lot of questions... Okay, I'll do my best!

-Answer 1: Well, there's a few reasons I could think of. It might be due to the added hype some games receive that cause them to be better-known and thus more-played among the general public. It could be the fact that maybe people's tastes happen to run toward things you might find boring (Mr. Y.T.F. has a few grievances with Aaron Sorkin for similar reasons!). And of course, there's the fact that you just can't simply kill off annoying family members in real life like you can during a session on The Sims...
-Answer 2: The answer's pretty obvious to me; most companies think that the title will sell based on the license alone (which unfortunately is all-too-often the case!).
-Answer 3: As an average, I could see why a person would think this. From a literal standpoint, no, it would be impossible for humankind to even know how to breathe in that case- but figuratively, I can easily see that in some of the trends sweeping the nations...
-Answer 4: Well, if you think it's fun, it's fun! Of course, those you're being evil TO might think otherwise but it's all a matter of personal preference!
-Answer 5: Well, logic would dictate that once you've done all the evil things you can do in a game, there isn't much else you CAN do... Also, I think that most people who would want someone to do good things (which would logically be all that remains) wouldn't look toward the evil end of the spectrum and you'd have to redeem yourself in the game in order to give you more things to do (ask anyone familiar with the 'respect bars' in the old Grand Theft Auto 2 game, it's a lot like that!)
-Answer 6: Maybe it's the 30% 'sexy teachers being pedophiles' that you like. Joke aside, it might be that your tastes in certain areas run different ways. Or, simply because you like killing everything brutally in video games, doesn't mean you can't enjoy cuteness cuteness cuteness in anime.
-Answer 7: Well, you could think that you see a lot of dark when you're hurt (eyes closed or non-functioning), or when you die, you can't see much but dark (or so I've heard). The dark is also where people are more willing to attempt to do bad things under the impression that they won't get caught so easily as they would when it's light out.

My, that took me a while! I hope I got everything for you!


November 2, 2003- Love, anime love, and offers you can't not refuse!

One man wrote in with the ultimate fear of any man looking for love.
"What do you do if you're in love with a girl- but before you tell her, she says she's a lesbian so she's probably not lying."
Hmm... It seems just a bit too convenient for my taste that only now is she volunteering this information. Has she been picking up any signals that you were going to ask her? Either way, that's one implausible situation, so, if you're stealthy enough, try to see if it's true. It doesn't seem like she's interested as it stands so I don't think this will hurt your chances. If you know where she lives and she's got a window, get a pair of binoculars or anything with a zoom (apply 'teacher's logic': the cheaper the better) and wait to see if anything happens after a while. Or, and this is safer, see if you can see her walking around and watch her company and how she behaves. This won't do much, but if you catch her in a lie, you can get revenge; I'll leave the methods to you.
Personally, you're probably better off just not doing any of this; instead giving up and looking for someone else, but who knows, you might at least get closure, or blackmail photos that can sell for a lot.

Another person wrote in asking about the origins of this site. Amongst other things that aren't meant to be.
"So what is the purpose of this site? Where do you find these games and are these women single?"
Oooh~! Multiple questions, hmm? I'll answer them in the order you wrote them.

The purpose of this site, according to Mr. Y.T.F., was to create the world's greatest humor site. He wound up settling for fanservice and one-liners.

I'm not particularly sure where he finds games, as every time he tells me where he gets a game and I check, the sites all close down due to IDSA attacks. My friend Hiroshi was working on something about this, but he refuses to tell me what- personally, given I see a bunch of files on his computer now that say 'DO NOT OPEN THIS FILE OR THE INTERNET WILL BE DESTROYED', or something along those lines, I'm fairly sure that whatever he's planning, when he's done you'll have a good five years of easy downloading.

Are the women single? Hm-hmm~! Well, I haven't seen too many of them, but if you want my personal opinion, you'd want to stay away from Yuka, Elena and Kaori- make them mad and you'll wish you'd never been born! Who was next... Oh yes, Miss Satsuki, I don't recall her being taken, and the way I've seen her act, she's not too choosy- try coming on to her sometime, you might be surprised by the results! The Iketeru Futari women would be next, I think- bad news, but Amakasu and Arigase are together themselves now, and Koizumi's currently serving a fifteen-year sentence for Murder One of Mr. Saji. As for Yuki, I think she's still in school, but she's been a little mopey over Saji- you might be able to rebound her! (And don't tell her I told you this!) Dr. Marilyn, forget it! I don't think it's a good idea to skirt-chase after a girl who seems to have a HIGHLY weird plan in her head and an android that shoots missiles out of her breasts! But... I guess if it's 'that' you're looking for- be my guest! Don't say I didn't warn you, though! Miruru, Reina and Mifuyu- I think Miruru's with somebody (you know how it is with high-school romances), and Reina's not one to approach unless you need free dental work, but Mifuyu... She might want to fool around with you! Just be careful that she doesn't smother you, if you know what I mean. If you're interested in ME, I'm always available! Just show up at my other job at the school and I'll talk with you, or maybe kiss around with you...

The same person followed-up requesting directions to love. And a personal question I was happy to answer.
"So what is the address of the school and where would I find all these lovely females that you mentioned! Oh and what do you do at this school?"
I guess I forgot to mention that last time, didn't I? Okay, it's (my school) in the Shinjuku area; it's a little hard to explain the exact location, but you'll find it between the Kimishima Pachinko Parlor (You'll know it by the red-headed girl who keeps kicking the ass of all the boys who enter.), the Ryuusaku Medical Facility (Convenient location, may I say), a video game store which I forget the name of, but remember because of the four guys who never seem to budge from that spot, all of whom look like River City Ransom villains, and the manga store I used to work at. It's more toward the south-east of the area.

As for the girls, I don't really know where to find Yuka (She said she was going on a little trip), but Elena shouldn't have budged from The Rival in Osaka, and Kaori from her restaurant (I forget it's name). Dr. Marilyn, I couldn't tell you- she calls her lab a secret for a darn good reason! Satsuki would be at the Ogami Hospital, but the last I heard, it was wiped off the face of the earth by some psycho robot, so odds are she's relocated somewhere... I haven't seen her lately enough to know where. You'd find Yuki at her school near Shibuya. You'd know it from the girls who actually show enthusiasm there now that Mr. Saji is no longer with us. Miruru, once she's rid of her boyfriend, actually happens to go to my school. Reina, there's a tennis court near the baseball stadium in Roppongi. You'll find her there. Ergo, I'd stay away from there. Mifuyu works at one of the office buildings in Fukuoka, I don't know which one. It's better to search for her at the bars in the area during the evening, though. Did I get all of them?

And what do I do at my school? I could be concise and say 'Everything!', but that's both a bit untrue and rude. Mostly, I'm a teacher. Sometimes, I counsel for students who seem to have problems outside of class. A little bit of the time... Well, I'll be nice about it and say your visit wouldn't be ill-made for that 'little bit'.

I think Dave Barry called them 'Investment Plans for Morons'? I have one here.
"Attn:
Sir,
It is in our search for a reputable person who will assist us in a business transaction that we decided tocall on you.We are a consulting company based in Nigeria, we are chartered Accountant, Financial and investment firm, we also act as local fund managers to our clients.
Right now, we have a client who is interested in investing abroad.His areas of interest are in stock market, Aircraft parts,real estate,e.t.c.
The clients is a retired Army General in Nigeria Army during the last military regime of Late General Sani Abacha. He served in various departments home and abroad while in active service in Nigeria Army.
He realiable told us that he has Twenthy Million, United State Dollars only (US$20,000.000) that he deposited in a security and finance company outside the coutry and that, it is with this money he wantto use to start his business.
He told us that he is ready to pay 10% of the total amount to you if you help him in this business, and another 10% interest of, Annual After Tax Income to you,for handling this business for him. Which you will strongly have absolute control over.
Please note that all top army officers from the rank of Bridgadier that serve in the last military Government in Nigeria are not allowed to travel outside the country or run foreign account.
If you can handle this project sincerely and we will link you to the General for further discussion.We hope to commence the transaction as soon as we hear from you.Our company name, is SANNI&SANNI CONSULT NIG LTD.
Best regards,
ALH SANNI AHMED
The President - CEO
SANNI&SANNI CONSULT NIGERIA LTD"


Okay, first off, how DARE you call me 'sir'! I'm a GIRL, if you haven't bothered to notice! Next off, why in the world would you need MY help? You have $20,000,000 in U.S. dollars and you're asking a TEACHER for money?! Next off, you're starting a business simply to invest money? I think you can do that without the aid of a corporation. Next- okay. HE says he's got a foreign account, YOU say you can't have one. A fallacy? I think so. Finally, who on earth is going to care if he leaves? He's RETIRED, isn't he? I'm doing you a favor by not giving you money and urging you to not invest your money- you or your client's got some screws loose and you aren't going to be making anything on that money!

Another person offers to increase the user base of this site. How, I can't imagine.
" Hello,
I have visited yukatakeuchifan.kiwibonga.com and noticed that your website is not listed on some search engines. I am sure that through our service the number of people who visit your website will definitely increase. SeekerCenter is a unique technology that instantly submits your website to over 500,000 search engines and directories -- a really low-cost and effective way to advertise your site. For more details please go to SeekerCenter.net.
Give your website maximum exposure today! Looking forward to hearing from you.
Best Regards,
Vanessa Lintner
Sales & Marketing
www.SeekerCenter.net"
Hmm, it really isn't my decision- I'm only a guest writer! However, I talked with Mr. Y.T.F. about this. He raised several good points about this with me. He says his site's already referenced in Google and Yahoo!, which are, as far as he knows, the only two search engines he knows of worth using. Plus, you've read this site; you probably noticed there's a little niche of people that enjoy this site. Most of the traffic here comes through anime fanservice sites. He also says, and I can't fault him for this, that he's too cheap to pay for anything that isn't free. Personally, I think those stats are a little odd, myself. 500,000 search engines? I don't know more than eight. My computer-savvy friend Hiroshi doesn't know more than 24, and half of those are porn search engines. Sorry, but Mr. Y.T.F.'ll pass, and if I ever go ahead and make a site, so do I.


I'd like to see your most recent e-mails, Rei.

Thank you Rei! Now lead me back to the Yuka Takeuchi Fan!