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Suppo
I am the Boss of You Now
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| Posted on 04/28/2003 at 10:10:08PM |
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remember that
My god that guy is such an asshole, I hate his guts to the greatest extent. I don't believe I've hated anyone as much as I hate him...
Allow me to explain the situation. As most of you probably ignore, I am a 20 year old film student and I play the guitar in a band... I share an apartment with a friend. The walls are thin, so she can hear me playing guitar. To solve that problem I just put on my headphones. But the deal is my neighbor too hears the guitar when I don't put on my headphones (which is when my flatmate isn't here) so he complains... But let's get this straight. At first he complained because I played too late (according to him, because 9pm isn't really that late I believe) which I understand can be a pain in the end. But where I draw the line is when the guy (which is not exactly an old man... he never told me his age but he's about 25, 26 max) calls me at 2 on a saturday afternoon because my guitar bothers him... telling me, rather than asking me, not even to do something to reduce the noise but to simply stop...
Now I don't know about you but I don't think playing guitar at 2 in the afternoon isn't exactly as bothering as breaking a concrete wall at 6 in the morning.
Since that time (after a little talk) we establisehd that I was to stop playing after 9pm and he was to never call me about that before that time, especially on the week-ends. Moreover, both me and my flatmate are moving out in july so the place has to be rented. So the landlord (his mom, that explains why he pays no rent) put an ad. Some people called and he was the one in charge of telling us when the people were to visit. He called one day when my flatmate wasn't there and I my hands were full so my girlfriend (to whom he never talked) answered the phone, he asked to talk to Stephanie, namely my flatmate, so my girlfriend said she wasn't here... That asshole just pretended I never existed and he left her the message as to when the people were to visit... What a fucking asshole.. I mean it could have been a fucking robber for fuck's sake! he didn't even ask who he was talking to.
But for those who read up to now, here is the reason that pushed me to write this thread... yesterday morning I was having a nice bowl of cereal in my little backyard (that we share with him) and he came out... looking around, he found a shard of glass and asked me if we had a broken window... I said no... Then he continued inspecting the place and finally turned back to me and told me that I should stop MY cat from shitting in the yard, that I shouldn't let him out...
The thing is he knows perfectly that it's not my cat, that it's my flatmate's cat... After informing him of this rather politely I added, not so politely, that I really couldn't control the cat's shitting... And that if it happened again he just had to tell us about it. But no, he insisted that we don't let the cat out back... Which doesn't really matter cause he always goes around even if we let him out the front door... That's what I told him but he just wouldn't hear me out...
After that, he started threatening me of writing a note to the landlord (which really meant calling his mother) about the cat that we weren't allowed to have but that they tolerated... too bad for him it clearly stipulates on the lease that the cat is allowed...Fact that I shared with him, leaving him little more to say.
So there you have it.
I hate my fucking neighbor...
I am seriously considering of breaking his front windows after I move out... just for the hell of it, and letting him know it was me, without allowing him to prove it. Any suggestions as to how I should do it?
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+Chaos
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| Posted on 04/28/2003 at 10:24:30PM |
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 A rock with the message "fuck you" taped to it seems to do the trick in most cases. But seeing as how we are not the average vandals, I say you tape a flaming bag of cat shit to the rock. The cat shit will make him assume its you, but he wont be able to prove it. Just make sure to wear gloves so you dont leave fingerprints and you dont get cat shit on your hands.
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Suppo
I am the Boss of You Now
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| Posted on 04/28/2003 at 10:54:19PM |
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remember that
mmm, the cat shit is a good idea indeed.
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Boredom comes with women. Pleasure comes with women... Boredom is Pleasure. | | |
Yuka Takeuchi Fan
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| Posted on 04/29/2003 at 07:37:23PM |
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| I'm not too well-versed in the art of vandalism, but I think a baseball bat would be a fun tool. I don't know why, maybe it's me, but with melee weapons it just seems more fun. Plus- as long as you don't ditch the bat, no one will ever have any way to tell who did it!
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So that's not Yuka Takeuchi in my user picture. I have a right to use a picture of a big-busted nurse instead!
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@kiwibonga
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| Posted on 04/29/2003 at 09:26:11PM |
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|  Seriously, just make sure he's sleeping, go there at 4AM on a monday morning if he has to go to work the next day and just throw a rock at one of his windows (NOT his bedroom window, you'd regret it!)
He'll wake up panicking, and if you run fast enough he won't be able to get you ;)
EDIT: Oh and, do it a winter morning, I mean, what could be better than having to repair a window at 4AM with -40 degree wind blowing into your house? He could always not hear the sound and wake up as an ice cube ;)
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Edited by kiwibonga on 04/29/2003 at 05:29:14PM | |
Angel of Doom
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| Posted on 04/29/2003 at 11:15:37PM |
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speak only the words of apathy and cynicism
those are some really freaky ideas. I'd rather just leave a flaming bag of cat dung on the front porch-thing whatever. it may be old, but at least you cant get sued for property damage.
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@kiwibonga
I own two websites now. It sucks. :P
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| Posted on 04/29/2003 at 11:22:23PM |
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| Putting a flaming object on someone's front porch is technically more dangerous than breaking a window...
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+Chaos
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| Posted on 04/29/2003 at 11:41:22PM |
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Yes, but throwing that flaming object through their window is even worse. Bwahahaha. Besides, the topic of the thread is "I'm going to burn my fucking neighbor
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DCB
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| Posted on 04/30/2003 at 12:08:43AM |
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| Maybe by "burn" he meant copy his neighbor onto a CD-R. But then the RIAA along with Dr. Dre and Lars Ulrich will have to shut him down for that.
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@kiwibonga
I own two websites now. It sucks. :P
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| Posted on 04/30/2003 at 12:22:21AM |
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| I think it had to do with searing pain rather...
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+Hyena
<--- He is an evil genius
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| Posted on 04/30/2003 at 02:47:03AM |
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Gather round, everyone and listen to the not-so-wise words of the Hyena.
First, he's not as much of an asshole as many many many people I've dealt with and heard second-hand stories about. I should tell you people some "while I was working at the theatre" stories.
However, he is quite a bit of a jerk so here's what I think you should do.
Hyena's first law of assholes state that if someone pisses you off, find a way to turn it around.
Try to make it so that this guy amuses you. Learn to have fun at his expense. Phase one usually is to try to understand how annoyed he is, and feel good about it.
Now, if you really want to get him back, vandalism will only get you in trouble (as you stated that he's not above ratting you out to anyone who will listen) and all you will really do is break something that can be easily replaced.
What you want to do, is break his brain. For three reasons.
1. Unlike a window, he has to live with his brain the rest of his life.
2. It's fun.
3. There's no way anyone can prove you did anything at all.
Hannibal Lector did this, although his methods are much more cruel than mine would ever be. (In Silence of the Lambs he convinced an inmate to commit suicide)
So basically you need to play mind-games.
Here's an example off the top of my head.
Buy something cheap and breakable at a dollar store, like a vase or something like that. You said that you share a backyard, so maybe you can place it outside on the lawn furniture that's protected by the rain or something.
Late at night you go out and destroy it, quietly. Throw it in the grass, maybe.
The next day wait until he's already out there and casually go out yourself, with your roommate or girlfriend. See the vase and begin yelling. Tell her that it's the vase your mom gave to you and that it's valuable. You'll need to go over this plan with her ahead of time so she can play along.
After you calm down, talk to her about how it could have happened. That's when you give your neighbour the most evil look you can muster, like you think he did it.
Don't openly accuse him. If he denies it, tell him you didn't even accuse him and subtly imply that this proves he did it.
If he tells you the vase was a worthless dollar store thingy, that's an opportunity to really bitch at him.
Here's another thing you can do. Steal something of his (maybe something he leaves out a lot, that might be left in the back yard some time) and then relocate it somewhere on his property. Let him spend hours looking for it. If he accuses you, just say "whatever" and ignore his accusations. When he eventually finds it, he'll feel really stupid that he accused you, especially if he made a big fuss about it.
And by the way, if he hates the sound of your guitar at night, play communist (or maybe some form of nationalist hatred) propaganda really loudly during your agreed-on time that you can play guitar.
If he complains, answer the door with blood on your hands (fake blood isn't hard to find).
Go with the blood thing for a while. Slowly increase the number of times he sees you bloody. If he asks you about it, say you don't know what he's talking about.
Start putting up posters (when he's not looking) around the neighbourhood for people who have lost pets.
Find a kitchen knife and scrub it while on your porch. While he's around, comment to your girlfriend or roommate how it still looks stained to you.
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+Chaos
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| Posted on 04/30/2003 at 04:10:39AM |
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Mind games ARE fun arent they? I would love to play mind gaes on some of my more bitter enemies, but , as Angel of Doom can atest to, my enemies are all utter morons and the mind games would end up driving me insane at the lack of a response.
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+Hyena
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| Posted on 04/30/2003 at 02:38:31PM |
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On the contrary, mind games can be very fun if the other person is stupid.
Once in grade nine, a couple of guys in my class started accusing me of stealing something. My friend took a famous Sherlock Holmes quote and butchered it.
"Well, as Shakespear said, 'All evidence, however improbable, must remain the truth'"
The two guys sort of stood there, looking at us for a second. We walked away. They were still standing there.
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+Chaos
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| Posted on 05/01/2003 at 04:17:00AM |
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No, no, no. Compared to the average person at my school, those guys are genius' (what the hell is plural for genius?). If Angel would get off his lazy ass and check the thread he could back me up. Sometimes I start to think I'm just being an asshole with a major superiority complex (which I aam), but these people actually dont deserve to live. Once I am "Dictator of everything does and does not yet exsist" or more simply "Almighty Zod," these people will become human cattle and be used as garden mulch. Anyone who cannot pass a standard competency test will be eaten by a moose.
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+Hyena
<--- He is an evil genius
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| Posted on 05/01/2003 at 10:24:52PM |
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Actually this same friend said that this guy in his class was being annoying so he said to the guy "Excuse me, what's your name?"
"Colin Church"
"Colin Church," he says, writing the name down on a piece of paper. "When I become king of this planet, you will be the first person to be killed"
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Angel of Doom
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| Posted on 05/01/2003 at 11:36:27PM |
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speak only the words of apathy and cynicism.
hmm.definetly sounds like an idiot. but chaos is right, if they couldn't understand the word " society " i dont think they'll get those mind games.
and the plural for genius is geniuii( jee nee i)
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+Chaos
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| Posted on 05/01/2003 at 11:40:27PM |
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Idiot, you where there when I made that up... I meant the REAL plural.
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Angel of Doom
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| Posted on 05/01/2003 at 11:58:32PM |
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speak only the words of apathy and cynicism.
there is no real plural. genius' dont come in pairs
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Doc Funky
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| Posted on 05/02/2003 at 02:31:31AM |
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| Doc to the rescue...
Main Entry: ge·nius
Inflected Form(s): plural ge·nius·es or ge·nii
BONUS:
1 a : plural genii : an attendant spirit of a person or place
1 b : plural usually genii : a person who influences another for good or bad
...
4 : plural usually genii : SPIRIT, JINNI
5 : plural usually geniuses
5 a : a single strongly marked capacity or aptitude (ex: had a genius for getting along with boys)
5 b : extraordinary intellectual power especially as manifested in creative activity
5 c : a person endowed with transcendent mental superiority; especially : a person with a very high intelligence quotient
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+Hyena
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| Posted on 05/02/2003 at 04:25:52AM |
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PWNED!
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Angel of Doom
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| Posted on 05/02/2003 at 04:27:29AM |
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speak only the words of apathy and cynicism.
well, i was almost right. proves how much of a genius i am. or an idiot rather. or mabye both.
no, wait, scratch that last part.
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+Hyena
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| Posted on 05/02/2003 at 04:32:53AM |
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It takes a genius to admit they're an idiot. A genius idiot. Who's stupid. But a genius. A genius that's . . .
I've gone cross-eyed.
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+Chaos
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| Posted on 05/02/2003 at 05:25:44AM |
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So genii actually is a word? Well damn. Its not as funny anymore if the word actually does exsist.
Hyena: Dont think about. your head might explode...
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Suppo
I am the Boss of You Now
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| Posted on 05/03/2003 at 04:03:50PM |
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remember that
Fuck me he's really an asshole, and only getting worse by the minute... Wednesday at arounf 2 or 3 in the afternoon he went to see my flatmate who was in the yard, painting a table and told her that she was to tell me (since I'm not civilized enough to talk to) to quit the "noise" (aka a bass guitar and a guitar that were really not so loud) or else he was gonna call the cops. She came and told me that and then told us to just keep on playing... She was right because if the cops had come he would have looked like an ass cause according to the law you can't complain about noise that isn't loud... especially at 2 in the afternoon, and it's not because he can hear it that it's loud.
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+Kazuma
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| Posted on 05/03/2003 at 04:57:13PM |
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| People suck, end of story :)
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+Chaos
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| Posted on 05/03/2003 at 10:01:56PM |
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Probably the fact that his mother is the landlord gives him the impression that he is an elite, while you nothing and must succumb to his demands.
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Angel of Doom
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| Posted on 05/04/2003 at 01:47:31AM |
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speak only the words of apathy and cynicism.
too many of those people running around nowadays. too abd communism dosen't work.
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Blasphemy, Heresy, and Sacrilige: The three trolls of human freedom | | |
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