Samus Aran: Everyone's favorite bounty hunter who is solely responsible for the elimination of the Metroids. She now has an idiot partner who was forced onto her by authorities unknown. Samus is quick to anger, so if you make her mad, run like hell. Hell hath no fury like a womans scorn... Especially if that woman is equipped with a missle launcher and plasma beam.

Ben:
What kind of webcomic would this be without the idiot partner? Ben is usually an idiot, but there just may be more to him than meets the eye. Probably not, but it's possible.

Harper & Syd:
The leaders of the rebellion on Planet Contra. Harper is the real brains of the group, and is quite evil. Both have been known to enjoy hot chocolate, rainy days, and obliterating those who oppose them. Syd eventually died by a rocket blast from Harper. Harper swears it was an accident. Suuuuure.

Joe:
Joe is a sick pervert with a panties fetish. He's such a feind, that the Galactic Federation has placed the bounty of one whole cheese sandwich on his head.

Papa Brain:
Papa Brain is Mother Brain's husband. Or brother. Or cousin. Or something. Nobody really knows, and we'd rather not think about it. PB went against better judgement and didn't confine himself to the safety of a glass jar. As a result, a Metroid latched onto his head. PB can talk to it, and named it Sip. Again, nobody knows why, nor cares.


Get me out of here already1


Metroid, Samus Aran, Space Pirates, and all that other stuff are properties of Nintendo. Contra is a property of Konami. Pretty much everything else is property of me, unless speficically noted otherwise.